Silence, something every mother craves every single day. The ability to hear your own thoughts or the quiet ticking of the clock. Solitude as a mom seems like a far fetched idea, like something pulled out from a fairy tale.
It was not that long ago that I found myself alone. In the car with no music on, no husband and no children. Just me and silence. And it was heavenly!
I thought back to my teenage years, where I would always be listening to audiobooks, music, or videos. I didn’t need silence, and I certainly did not enjoy it.
Becoming a mother, there are not many parts of my day that are quiet. I have noise around me all the time. And when it does get quiet around nap time, I am always busy and working.
But here’s the thing, I never noticed how much I missed it until I read this quote which really got me thinking:
I thought about the times I was doing something I wanted to do, in complete silence. And they were few.
And even if I did have some silence, I was quick to grab my phone to play music or listen to a podcast, not realizing the IMPORTANCE of silence.
Why do we need Solitude?
Being alone helps me reflect on my life and lets me ask myself questions.
What do I need to do?
What have I accomplished?
Am I proud of what I have done so far?
How can I be a better parent?
Where and how can I improve my marriage?
What is the Lord trying to teach me?
It is so important to have time to think about these things. They help you to learn, to grow, and to flourish in your everyday life. You need to focus on yourself as well to give the best of what you can be to others.
Reflection is the KEY to GROWTH. Without reflecting on past choices, experiences, and situations, we will not be able to grow as a person.
Yet as a mom, you understand the real-time struggle of finding time to reflect. You barely have time to finish your morning coffee, let alone do nothing for a few minutes and think.
Through struggling, trial, and error I have found ways to sneakily help get you some more of that precious silence, and get some times of solitude as a mom!
Make Solitude a Priority
Do not view solitude as something you get to do when everything is done. You will most likely never finish everything you want to get done.
Let’s just be honest with each other, that’s the reality of motherhood; a never-ending to-do list.
Schedule in some time of solitude into your day. Physically write it into your journal or to-do list and do not skip or move it to the next day!
Start by doing it at least once a week. Increase if possible and if you feel you physically and mentally need some more “quiet time”.
When you are having some of that sparse time for yourself, try to do something you love and enjoy that simultaneously gets you some peace and quiet. Whether that is drawing, reading a book, having a spa night, or drinking a coffee on the porch.
I highly recommend not watching a show or YouTube videos, as you will still hear the noise and feel connected to others during that time.
“Un-plug” and do something you have always been wanting to do!
Get Up Early or Stay Up Late
Finding the time to have some you-time can be a challenge, especially as a full-time mom. Waking up early or staying up late can really open those doors for you.
I am a morning person, so I enjoy getting up at 6 am every morning and having that time to myself. That time is spent journaling, devotions, some bible reading while drinking tea or coffee. If I feel it is necessary and I have time, I work out, stretch, or have some me-time.
If you enjoy staying up late, do those things before bed to wind down.
Please do not do both! As a parent and a human being, you need sleep. Having solitude will do nothing if you cannot keep your eyes open because of a lack of sleep.
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Find Help to Get Some “You-Time”
Get comfortable with asking for help. Most people enjoy helping, all you have to do is ask.
If you are not comfortable asking for help, do something in return.
If I need to ask a friend or relative to watch my child for a few hours, I directly offer to watch their children the next day so they can get something done.
Even though you will be busier the day after, you get that time to yourself which is invaluable.
If you have nobody that can help you, hire help. Babysitters, house cleaners, or even somebody that just helps out with the laundry can make a huge difference in your life.
Get off Social Media
When you do get that time to yourself, it may be tempting to crawl into bed and scroll on social media for hours. We have all been there and done that, getting lost in the world of Instagram or Pinterest.
While this may be relaxing and calming, you will feel overloaded when you are done. You did spend time with yourself in reality, yet through social media, you were still connected to other people.
When spending time with yourself, try to get off electronics. Turn your phone into airplane mode or put it in a different room altogether.
Rather, find something to do where you can gather your thoughts and enjoy some silence.
Solitude is so important, even more so in motherhood. The lives of your children are depending on you, so why give it only half of what you can?
To give your best, you need to feel your best and reflect on things done and what can be done better.
Implement times of silence and solitude in your life and watch you flourish into a more calm and happy mom.
How do you implement times of silence and solitude as a mom? What ways have worked for you? Let us know in the comments below and we might add them to our list!
Until next time,